I teach a lot about the physics and geometry of partnership dancing and the concept of making two two-legged animals into a single four legged animal. This covers the mechanics but doesn't address the oneness of partnership dancing. The elements that create the incredible feeling of partnership dancing are what I call the "intangibles".
I talk a lot about "feeling your partner", "being part of your partner", "dancing your partner's body", "common center of the partnership" etc. This is where the "intangibles" come in.
Have you gone somewhere, met someone and immediately had a "cold icy " feeling or a "warm comfortable" feeling or an "energetic/energized" feeling? Have you ever felt completely exhausted after talking to someone (like they just sucked all the energy out of you)? All this can happen in the partnership. I'm sure all of you can relate to the feeling of finishing a dance and walking off the floor and feeling "energized" or "excited" or "exhausted" or "nothing" from dancing with that partner. It is real easy to fall into the "nothing feeling" when you are in the beginning learning process because you are so far inside your self.
Each partner must actively contribute and participate in the partnership. You can't be a passive partner or just try to dance yourself. You must be energized and be an active part of the partnership. The partner's energy melds into a common partnership, which results in creating a new unique entity that is different than either of the original partners. You could compare this to parents having a child, but the child is completely different than either parent.
I don't believe you can learn the intangibles anywhere except in private lessons. It is all about feeling, power, energy, focus and attitude. You need the instructor's hands-on to convey this aspect of partnership dancing.
The intangibles are what takes partnership dancing from "A lot of fun" to a truly "Magical Experience".